OLS Week 2: A Comedy of Errors

Author: swampkitty05  //  Category: Culinary Failures, Eating Local, Farmer's Market, Food Blogging Event, Produce


It’s the second week of One Local Summer, and despite many attempts at making a local meal this week, I’m lucky I have anything at all to post. Murphy was living in my kitchen this week, because anything that could go wrong absolutely did.

I had the best laid plans. I was going to make an all-local frittata, using local goose eggs, chorizo, potatoes, onions, and cheese. I tried to make it twice.

I have a confession to make. Even though I’m a good cook, I have trouble making some things that even a child can make. Pancakes from pancake mix is one. They come out blackened, every time. Absolutely disgusting. The other bane of my existence? Frittata. In theory, it’s simple. In execution, not so much. I’ve made crustless quiches before, which aren’t that different. So why all the problems? I haven’t given up yet, though – and have a frittata pan set on order from Amazon.com.

The first attempt was with a nonstick pan in the oven. And it…stuck. Never made it to the oven. I didn’t want to ruin my pan. So attempt #1 got thrown out. After checking some blogs, I had the bright idea of doing attempt #2 in a nonstick pan with some oil. But…because said nonstick pan has plastic handles, it’s not oven safe. which required flipping the thing over and back into the pan. It gets in the pan – not sticking at all. The bottom was browning beautifully. Then I have the bright idea of using a cookie sheet to flip it over near the sink, and splat…all over the countertop, sink, and floor. I laughed, harder than I’d laughed in a while, big giant gut-busting belly laughs, because I knew I’d cry if I thought about it too hard.

So, screw the frittata. I was out of chorizo and potatoes and goose eggs anyway. I had bought a loaf of white bread at the Clintonville Farmer’s Market, and had the bright idea to make french toast with it. I was going to sweeten up some Blue Jacket Creamery local lemon quark and whip it with a little local cream, and spread it in between two slices of said bread, which I would then dip into a mixture of local cream from Snowville Creamery, eggs from 2Silos, and vanilla, and fry in local Amish butter, and then serve it with strawberries and serviceberries from Rhoads Farms, mulberries from my backyard, and some local whipped cream. It looks pretty enough, right?

Lemon Quark Stuffed French Toast with Fresh Berries

One small problem – the bread. It just wasn’t good at all. It was dense and dry and crumbly. I soaked it in the cream mixture for a half hour and it didn’t even saturate into the bread but 1/8 inch. It was so dry it was crumbling apart in the frying pan. It was downright inedible. But at least the berries were good. Live and learn, I guess. Not everything that is local is good.

So new week, new fridge of local food, new ideas. Even though it’s an old standby, I’m thinking a local B(E)LT is in order. Stayed tuned for the continuing adventures…well, you get the idea.

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